My last day of being 26

It's a shame there are so many divers here. I think it makes the dives a bit boring. It's all still very enjoyable though and we had fun on our first night dive last night.

Today after diving we hired a motorbike and hit the dusty roads with our new Spanish buddy (a 53-turning-23 year old who incidentally works in a field of science that is very similar to Ric's dad) and went off to find some sharks on the other side of the island. The roads here are pretty terrible and I made trenches in Ric's hips as I clung to him for dear life. He enjoyed making me squeal with terror.

We eventually found a beach which advertised 'coffee/beer/snorkles/fins/sharks', hired the necessary equipment (my mask had a gaping hole in it though and my right fin was split across the foot rendering it totally useless) and swam out to sea in search of the promised sharks which the guy running the shop told us were just a few hundred metres away.

So did we swim with Jaws and smell the smell of our own imminent deaths? Er, not exactly. Sweat maybe. We must have swum for at least an hour and in that time I only saw one small white-tip reef shark while the other two didn't see any at all. What with my faulty, leaky gear and empty stomach, I wasn't having the easiest time, and nor were the other two, so we headed back to shore like disappointed boy scouts. The beach was idyllic. Just how paradise looks in postcards.

This island is full of wonderful beaches. It's a shame we happen to be staying in probably the most noisy and dirty area of all! Might explore some more of it tomorrow. On foot or bike!
And get me that massage!

Ric's joking that it's going to be my 30th tomorrow and he's got a point; I think I've always felt and acted older than my years, in some ways, and at the same time so very much younger! There's a lot to be said for the adage that eating disorders are in essence a way of trying to control things and defy time or one's natural development in to adulthood. Although in some ways I feel exactly the same as I did at 10, 14, 18 and 21, I do also feel quite adult now. I know myself well at least and that's something to note.

I feel especially old here what with all these giggling groups of lanky teenage gap-year girls swanning about the island wearing just their micro-bikinis. Ah me...At least I don't have any cellulite, yet.

As one year ends and I enter my late twenties proper, I've been thinking, not about the lines on my face so much or my marital status but about my career, or present lack there of. I'm finding myself increasingly drawn to the idea of re-applying my brain to academia and starting a PhD! Though in what field or subject I have no idea. I do miss the research process and writing and talking about literature. Since leaving university I have hankered after something more fulfilling than what I've done in radio or management or any of my other random jobs. I don't want or expect to make a fortune out of it but I do want to fill my head with interesting non-solipsistic things and do some good for others. Pipe dreaming?