What a day! I'm ashamed to say the OCD got the better of me and I spent most of today on a boat to Koh Tao and back just so I could right the 'wrong' I did the other day. Ric, in the meantime, had fun biking round the island.
I felt so pathetic and stupid and even more so for telling the readers of this blog now! After all these years I should know that pandering to the thoughts only makes the OCD worse in the short and indeed long term. It's boring too. I'm an intelligent, educated, otherwise perfectly rational woman who shouldn't be doing this! As Ric says and it's absolutely true, I am my own worst enemy and it's exhausting!
A good friend has just pointed out to me that 'demons can stick around for a long time but sometimes they get bored'. How true. In any case, there are much more tangible 'threats' to one's well being than phantom voices and fears about the future as subsequent events today proved. That's it. No more silly mind games.
After Ric picked me up from the port we decided to go and look for my bracelet around the place I came off my bike the other day. No joy. It's lost for good. As he was restarting the bike (in exactly the same spot I fell) some idiot came speeding round the bend towards him and in an effort to avoid collision Ric swerved and fell skinning his arms and leg and incurring about 200 pounds worth of damage! He's fine but pretty rattled. The spray-on plaster he used was actually more painful than the cuts! These bikes have turned out to be very costly and I never want to go on one again!!!
We think it's time to move on and tomorrow we'll get the boat to Koh Samui, another island just south off here. They have a Snake farm and lots of waterfalls and a Tesco of all things!
On another note, Ric's getting a bit tired of the food in Thailand and we both miss having a kitchen and cooking for ourselves. These huge menus which promise so much are seldom satisfying. When ordering straight Thai the food is usually good and excellently presented but several times Ric has ordered a western dish such as macaroni cheese, a sandwich, lasagna or steak in order to satiate an English craving and he's be sorely disappointed! They just can't do it right! Who can blame them I suppose?!
We're also wondering whether we will last the full 4 months of travelling we had planned. I'm eager to launch in to a new career path or academic pursuit if only to distract me from my strange thoughts. We both enjoy a more settled existence, with friends around us and Ric is keen to get back to work and develop his recent ideas. Hmmmm. There are a lot of places we want to explore a bit first though. Perhaps this quieter spell we're having in Thailand (though eventful!) is making us realise what we want and what suits us most.
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