I've not been writing much this week, partly because I've been working from 8.30am until 7pm most days and partly because I'm not very happy. Ric has been gone for two weeks now and I miss him dreadfully.
He's had the time of his life on Fraser Island and the photos convey a paradise, albeit a pretty drunken one. And onwards he goes. Every day a new journey with fresh beers to be drunk and bikini-clad girls to photograph.
Meanwhile, I feel like I've lost a part of me and hate being in the flat by myself night after night with hardly any friends to call or go out with. He says he's missing me too and will return once he has 'done his coastal thang' but I am living in a constant state of anxiety wondering if, when, under what circumstances will he come back. Will he meet someone else? Will he decide to go right around Oz without me? All I can do is sit tight, get on with my job and keep busy and not let on how crap I feel!
You can never really tell what that boy's next move will be so there's not much else I can do. He seems to have no compunctions about leaving me on my own and in the lurch which makes me seriously wonder what else he might do to hurt me.
I am trying to socialise and even took myself off to a local music festival today. We are celebrating Paul's birthday tonight too which will be fun.
It's not all doom and gloom here. I started work proper on Monday and by Wednesday they had all but offered me a full time job which would involve helping to manage the office and the company finances and looking after one of the two directors who has taken a shine to me. Apparently he doesn't usually bother to learn the junior staff's names, let alone the temps' but he took mine on board immediately and I have been sorting him out all week.
I have said I'll think about it. It's hugely flattering and just great to be wanted so much and praised so highly. It's not where I imagined working at all though!
It's a fabulous building to work in and I like all the team but it's no walk in the park working there as the big cheeses (father and three sons) are incredibly old-school and demand a hard working team. At this stage I don't mind it a bit though and I have thrown myself in to it. I find it fascinating and a great distraction from other concerns. I should join a class, a sports team, write etc. but I'm so exhausted when I get back each night I just want to go to bed!
Who knows how long I can stick it here without Ric though. It's tempting to go home to England sometimes especially when Ric says he's having the most fun he's had all year - yes - more fun without me there. At least I'd have friends around me in London and wouldn't have to go over to Charlotte and Paul's for a sob. I know he'll come back eventually but it would be nice to know when.
The end of the grumpy woman rant.
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